Bigger than Me

It's easy for me to overemphasize my role in God's master plan. If God's plan is a tapestry, my life is but one thread. If his plan is a symphony, my life is one note. If it is a novel, my life is a word. But sometimes I try to see myself as the weaver, or the composer, or the author. I want to be given credit for something. Maybe not the whole work of art, but at least my portion. And even in that desire, I am wrong. Did I create my thread? Am I able to arrange individual notes into a magnum opus? Can I write even one word without the mind or the hands God has given me? And so while my role is not insignificant, it is small, and it is only given to me by the grace of God. I recognize my newfound smallness not with anger or even disappointment. Instead, I stand in awe of a God who allows me to be a part of his masterpiece.

This week I split my time between two churches. It felt like whichever church I was with, the other church had the opportunity to lead someone to Christ. While I rejoiced with my groups and their willingness to share their faith, I felt a little left out. Selfishly, I wanted to be present to witness the salvations, or even to be the one to lead someone to Christ. I also felt unneeded. My group was doing awesome without me. Maybe they didn't need me at all. Maybe I wasn't making a difference. 

The conclusion I came to was not one that built me up and made me feel more important. Instead, it was one that humbled me. The will of God is bigger than me. It's bigger than my role as a Summer Missionary. It's bigger than MissionLab. It's bigger than the city of New Orleans or even the United States. And when I look down at the world from an airplane window or up at the vastness of the star-filled sky, I am reminded of my smallness, but overwhelmed by God's greatness. Instead of being dissatisfied with my role, I am in awe that he would choose someone like me to help accomplish what he needs no human to do. 

So I have a love-hate relationship with Casting Crowns. I love their songs, but they are convicting y'all! They call Christians out! But one song that keeps playing in the back of my mind is "What This World Needs." Click here if you've never heard it. 

One of my favorite parts of the song is when some children break the singing with these words: 

"People aren't confused by the gospel

They're confused by us

Jesus is the only way to God

But we are not the only way to Jesus

This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie
My denomination or my translation of the Bible
They just need Jesus
We can be passionate about what we believe
But we can't strap ourselves to the gospel

'Cause we're slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way

What this world needs is a savior who will rescue
A spirit who will lead
A father who will love them
In their time of need
A savior who will rescue
A spirit who will lead
A father who will love
That's what this world needs"

I leave you with one more Casting Crowns quote from their song "In Me": "How refreshing to know you don't need me. How amazing to find that you want me."